heart, mind & soul

"Safiyyah has definitely lost her mind,"

today, i am not quite myself today. i started this morning with sneezing here and there, tissues in my hand. i slept with opah because i was so damn tired last night and i dont even know the reason. then i went to school, looking like myself usually but my mood was completely different.

as i arrive, i saw nabeehan and i was like, "NO WAY! HE'S HERE! I DONT WANNA DO IT!" i was screaming inside. luckily we didnt do it, the BBB was cancelled. but faqihah did do it to that specific someone and i actually cant bear standing there, i cant look at his face with a natural easy-going feeling. wan saw what was happening to me, anger was on me, i felt hurt looking at him. so wan dragged me out of the conversation as faqihah talked to him, lying about her feelings towards him.

thanks, wan :))

then we 'bang-bang boom' him and we went back to our work. he was with wan and i went back to read with ain. the other girls were gone, some were playing in the hall, running, hiding, laughing, kicking, sliding, jumping, pulling, pushing all over the place.

then something happened that made me totally NOT in the MOOD for ANYTHING. i stayed silence, staring at people, some looked scared, they didnt even dare to look at me... i ignored most of the people until like, right now.

especially wan.

plus, we are not going to text each other because his stupid phone is still having a problem so i find no time to apologize to him, yet.

BFFs <33

I've been needing to tell wan about this freaking news but sheesh! his phone had a problem and could not send ANY messages, to ANYONE! isn't that just cruel! sheesh! this is so important, plus... i don't think i can tell him at school because it is kind of to 'public'. what am i to do... sigh.

she already found her 'love story', what about mine?

let it go, saf. you're not getting any.

why not? *sulks*

because its not the right time, you'll find yours, soon... promise.

wow! what's with the promises, man? ha ha. but i hope so,

since tonight i cant text with wan or anyone else... I'll be trying to be busy dancing with the stars in the sky, call me if there's anything important. make an appointment with my secretary and then, you can see me. HA HA. *dreaming*

it hurts so much that i can see it right in front of my face that he likes her. he doesn't like me anymore. well, i knew this was going to happen someday but i wished it wasn't near this week, or her! she is like my close friend, how can i stand looking at her face while knowing that you guys like each other. thank god, wan, ain & keah are on my back. i am so lucky =) having them as my best friends. i trust them 100%. others? not that much.... sorry... i want to forget about my 'unidentified' feelings towards him but i couldn't throw it all away. but i followed wan's advise, slowly and steadily... the feeling's slowly fading away but sometimes, i still remember about it... i cant really stand watching him or her for a long time, it makes me hurt. hurt badly, i tell you.

gah, i am such an EMO! but wan wouldn't let me call myself an EMO~

he says it is normal for me to be upset about this... sheesh!

you're one great friend, wan =)))))

toodles :D